Love Me If You Bear: Werebear/BBW Paranormal Romance Read online

  Love Me If You Bear

  by Roxanne Sweet

  Love Me If You Bear

  Published by Roxanne Sweet

  Copyright © 2014 Roxanne Sweet

  All Rights Reserved

  May not be copied or distributed without prior written permission.

  Cover photo: Deposit Photo © Membio 2014

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  Table of Contents

  Love Me If You Bear

  Table of Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  One

  Dear Diary,

  It's so exciting to write on a clean piece of paper like this. I haven't kept a diary in years! I used to write in mine all the time when I was in my teens.

  Well, I'm still in my teens - technically. But I'm nineteen now. That's a lot closer to twenty than it is to thirteen. And I'm mature for my age! So I think of myself as an adult already, rather than a teenager.

  Anyway, what was I saying? I decided to start keeping a diary again. I'll write one or two entries, at least. There's just been so much going on in my life lately that I had to write it down somewhere. I didn't really have anybody I could tell about all the stuff going on. This has to be a super-secret diary!

  Now I just have to figure out where to start. I guess I might as well begin a few months ago, when I started my sophomore year of college. I'm taking five classes this semester, four in psych and one in English. I love it! I can't wait to be a therapist one day and help people with their problems. My dream job would be working at an elementary school. Kids are the best!

  Anyway, I was going to say, there's this new guy in my classes. It's a pretty small college, so usually everybody knows everybody. All eyes were on this guy, Asher, when he showed up. I mean, eyes were on him because he was new, but mostly because he was hot! I'm talking six feet tall and just plain good-looking. He has a bit of that jock kind of vibe - you could tell he was on the football team in high school. Usually not everybody is into it, but let me tell you - everybody is into him!

  So all the girls were staring and whispering as this guy came into my first class of the semester. And the guys were kind of giving him the side-eye too, checking him out and seeing how much of a threat he was! He came into the class a couple minutes early and there were tons of empty seats at that point. But he decided to come sit in the seat next to me.

  Now, I don't think he decided to sit there because he thought I was cute or anything. I've gained a little weight since the days when I used to keep a diary! I mean, I'm not huge or anything, but no one usually finds me attractive. My mom says I'm pretty, but how much can I trust her?

  Well, for whatever reason, this super-hot guy came and sat down beside me. So naturally I said “Hi,” and asked him where he was from. I'm a friendly girl, you know? I would have said hi to any new student - girl, guy, whatever. It had nothing to do with his ridiculous attractiveness and his muscular body. Nothing at all!

  No, for real, I wasn't even thinking about anything at that point. I was just being nice. He was pretty clearly out of my league, and I half-expected him to just start talking to somebody else instead. But he didn't. We got to chatting pretty quickly, and he turned out to be super nice! I found out his name was Asher and that he was from the midwest.

  I introduced myself. “I'm Eden,” I said. “I've lived here all my life.”

  He explained how he moved here for the psychology program, which he said is really well known.

  “I didn't think it was,” I said. And I should know, since I'm in the same program!

  “It's really well-respected,” he said, a smile in his cute brown eyes. “The program I transferred from has nothing on this one. I can already tell.”

  I just laughed because class hadn't even started yet!

  What with him being new and all, I wasn't all that surprised when he asked me to go out for coffee after class. After all, we were both psych students. We would be in four of the same classes all semester - he needed a friend. And he didn't know anyone else on campus, or in the state for that matter. I would be able to show him around. I didn't mind; I can always use a new friend.

  I've had guy friends before, you know. Actually, now that I think about it, most of my friends are guys. They're never into me though, you know? They just treat me like a little sister. Maybe it's because of my weight, or maybe just something about my personality. I don't know... But hey, I wouldn't want to date most of them either!

  The other thing is that, even though they're also nerdy, most of my friends are sexually active. Or they want to be, at least. It doesn’t matter that much. I hang out with the people I enjoy spending time with. I don't judge my friends for what they do, as long as they don't judge me for what I don't do!

  So yeah, me and Asher went to the coffee shop in the business building. I hate being around all those puffed-up, self-important business students, but it was the nearest coffee shop. And they do make some good coffee there.

  As we walked in, I could tell people were looking at us. Like, what is she doing with him? I wanted to yell at them, “we're not together! Just friends!”. Even though, well, by that point I was kind of wishing it could be something more. But I can always use a new friend, so I wasn't about to complain.

  We got coffee and sat down and Asher started asking me all about the college and the city. “Where do people hang out? What is there to do on the weekends? But before long, he seemed to have forgotten to worry about what his new life here would be like, and he was just asking me questions about me. My life, my hopes, my goals - everything! He seemed so completely fascinated by me. Me! I'm just about the least interesting person out there!

  I felt like a movie star being interviewed when he was asking me all those questions. To be honest, when he kept being awed by everything I would say, he almost made me feel like I actually was interesting. Like the way I was captain of the swim team in high school but then I broke my ankle and never got back into swimming. It's true, not everyone has had that experience. I just never thought I was that special.

  The only thing I didn't like about him was... Well, this is going to sound dumb! At one point, he pushed up his sleeves. It was September, right? Pretty cool out, but indoors it was warmer and I had taken off my jacket too. Anyway, he pushed up his sleeves, and his arms were hairy.

  I don't mean like normal hairy. They were, like, super super hairy. I actually stared at them for a minute - I hope he didn't notice! Maybe he did, actually, because he pushed his sleeves down again pretty quick. Even then, I could still see all the hair on his hands that I hadn't noticed before. It went all the way up the back of his hands to his knuckles. They were really buff, with muscles popping out all over the place. He’s still a super hot guy! I just found it pretty, you know, weird.

  We had another class together the next day, and we sat together again. And we got coffee again after. Same with the next day - in fact, on Wednesdays we have two classes together! I didn't see him again until Monday's class, and I kind of worried that he would forget about me. I could already see he was making friends on campus; he would chat with other people before I got to class, or wave at somebody I didn't know as we walked around between buildings. But all his other friends seemed to be guys. Of course, that didn't necessarily mean anything!

  By that Wednesday, we were so used to hanging out together that it was me who suggested hanging out together on the weekend. He accepted right away. We decided
that I would show him around town. He had barely left campus, aside from going to his apartment.

  On Saturday afternoon, he picked me up from my place. He has a car and I don't, so there wasn't much debate about that. We decided to go downtown and walk around a little bit. It's a small city and it is a bit of a student town, so even just staying on campus he really hadn't missed much. But there are some cute coffee shops and art galleries in the city. There are bars, too, of course, but that's not really my thing!

  So we just drove around a little bit. We ended up just at a coffee shop, chatting like normal. But this time the conversation got a little bit more personal.

  I mentioned offhandedly that he must get a lot of attention from the ladies. I was just joking around, you know? I wasn't trying to pull anything on him. Guys who look like him aren't into girls who look like me - I know that much.

  “Do you see me beating girls off with a stick?” he asked, smiling so I knew he was joking.

  “You must see the way the girls around here look at you,” I told him. “You should have heard the whispers that were going around when you first got here!”

  He just laughed. He didn't seem to even care at all what other girls thought about him. If it was me, I'd have been dying to know what people were saying behind my back!

  “And you, Eden?” he asked. “Where's your boyfriend?”

  “I have lots of boyfriends,” I said, giggling uncomfortably. “Friends who are boys.”

  Something about my attitude must have tipped him off to the truth. “Wait a second,” he said. “Have you ever had one? Seriously, now.”

  I started to babble something about how I had been on dates that hadn't worked out - which isn't true, I've never even gotten that far with a guy - but I didn't really want to lie to him when he had always been so nice to me. “No,” I mumbled.

  He looked shocked, like he couldn't believe it. I have no idea why. Like I said, my looks alone probably explain my complete lack of a love life. “It's okay,” he said. “I don't mind that you didn't tell me that sooner. I've got secrets that you don't know, too.”

  Now I was really curious! But as much as I pressed him for more information, he wouldn't give me any. He wouldn't even tell me one small secret, or even a hint of a secret. I was really mad at him! He knew everything about me, and he wouldn't even tell me one thing about himself.

  I think he let something slip, though. We were getting ready to go, and I asked if I would see him in class on Monday. I almost wanted the answer to be “no,” I was so annoyed with him.

  “Not Monday,” he said. “It's the full - I mean, no, I can't go.”

  I didn't understand the significance at that time, but later on I would start to understand...

  The weekend flew by. Class on Monday was lonely without him, and I didn't feel so mad at him anymore. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so annoyed in the first place; we had only known each other for two weeks, after all; of course there were going to be things about him I didn't know yet. I just wanted to get to know them eventually. When he came back to class on Tuesday, everything was just like normal again.

  We kept hanging out like that for months, seeing each other in class, getting coffee and lunch together, and hanging out on the weekends, too. We would study together, call each other for homework help, and Facebook chat about nothing at all. I did notice that he would miss school one day a month, but I never asked why. Since that one talk, we hadn't talked about anything personal again. Still, though, I was starting to see him as a really good friend.

  This one time, I brought him along to hang out with me and a couple of my other guy friends at a board game night. I thought they would get along fine. My other friends are a bit nerdier than Asher - I mean, I met them at a board game club - but Asher also has interests outside of sports. Well, let me tell you, it was a disaster!

  From the moment we walked in, my guys were totally rude to Asher. Never mind making him feel welcome in a group of people he didn't know, Ben, Luke, and Mike barely spoke to him at all. Maybe he's used to other guys being mean to him because of his looks, but he took it pretty well. I just wish he hadn't had to deal with that.

  I think when I was in the bathroom they must have said something to him. When I came out, they were all kind of quiet, and Asher was looking particularly uncomfortable. I didn't think anything of it at the moment; I was too caught up regretting having brought him there in the first place.

  It was when he gave me a ride home that it started to make sense. We didn't talk much on the way, even though I did apologize for my friends' behavior and he said it was okay. Just as we pulled up in front of my apartment building, he stopped me before I got out. “I have to ask you something, Eden,” he said.

  “Of course.”

  “I know you haven’t dated much and all...” He seemed less comfortable than ever, and I nodded to encourage him. I didn’t really want to talk about my total lack of a love life, but anything that involves me looking at his gorgeous face for longer amounts of time is generally okay with me!

  What he said wasn't what I had expected, though. “Does that mean, uh, you haven’t had sex?”

  I just stared at him. Where was this coming from? In the months we had known each other, I don't think the word “sex” had ever once come up. “Yes,” I said simply, and got out of the car. “Good night,” I said as I shut the door.

  Like I said, I’ll talk to him about anything as long as it involves me staring at him. I just was not prepared for that question!

  Then I remembered the tense atmosphere between him and my friends after I had been out of the room for a couple of minutes. Maybe they had said something to him about it. But that would've come out of nowhere! They had barely been talking to him, and then for them to just randomly come out with something about me being a virgin? It was too bizarre.

  But what did it look like from their perspective? I had brought this guy over to one of our board game nights. They knew we had been hanging out constantly, and always one on one. He clearly didn't fit in with our group. So maybe they had been trying to warn him away from me.

  Were they jealous? Did one or more of them want me for themselves? No, it was impossible - I was just a kid sister to them. And they could probably see as well as I could that Asher was much too good-looking for me. If they had said something to him, they would have been trying to protect me, to keep me from getting hurt.

  I sighed as I waited for the elevator to my floor. I had to talk to them soon and let them know that there was nothing going on between me and Asher. Nothing to protect me from. Nope, nothing at all...

  Now we're just about up to right now. The night I'm going to tell you about next was just last night. And I'll admit, that night is kind of the reason I decided to start keeping a diary again. It was a really big night. I mean a huge one!

  Asher had suggested that we meet up in the evening and get a drink at a bar. I had been surprised because it wasn't our normal thing, but I was open to the idea. I don't mind having one drink with friends - I just don't get drunk.

  Well, we met at the bar and got to chatting away as usual. He was looking particularly handsome for some reason, and I kept catching myself staring at his cute brown eyes or the thatch of chest hair that I could see at the V of his T-shirt. I almost thought he was looking at me differently, too, but I reminded myself that it wasn't possible.

  As I sipped my drink and talked to him about everything and nothing, I almost felt sad that our friendship couldn't actually be more. We just get along so well, and he's so good-looking - but what could I do?

  One vodka-cran turned into two, and I may have been a tiny bit tipsy by the time Asher began to ask me about some more personal subjects. “So, you’re a virgin...”

  I stiffened. Were we really going to talk about this? I had never talked about sex with anyone. Even Ben, Luke and Mike didn't know anything about my sex life, other than that I didn't do it and wasn't going to. “Yeah?”

  “Is it, uh...” H
e seemed to be having a hard time getting his words out. “Do you not do anything, or just not sex?”

  “Well...” If I hadn't had those two drinks, I might have stopped him right there, but at that point I had loosened up enough that opening up to Asher a little bit didn't seem like such a terrible idea. “It's never really come up.”

  I could see what looked like surprise again on his face, but he kept his voice neutral. “Do you plan to?”

  “Hypothetically?” I giggled. It wasn't something I really thought about often. “I guess so, eventually. It would have to be with someone I really loved, though. Someone I trusted completely.”

  He nodded, thinking about my answer. “What about, um... Do you do it to yourself?”

  I had a vague idea of what he meant, but I played dumb anyway. “Do I do what?”

  Leaning forward, he dropped his voice about as low as it could go while still being audible. “Masturbate.”